Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
