what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
