Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
