Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
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