It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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