You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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