Can i not drive my cunt home
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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