i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
