All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
