I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
