It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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