it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
