Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Randomize
