covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I am in a vortex of obligation.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
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