We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
