Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
