i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
