the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize
