the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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