Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
