I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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