pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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