Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
