She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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