Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Randomize
