he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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