Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
