This is not my ceiling
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
