She is in my trunk
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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