bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
