My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
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