I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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