It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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