She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
