How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Randomize
