I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Every concussion has its silver lining
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
