Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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