Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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