video games are the ultimate cock blocker
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
