How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
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