whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
