Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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