People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
