You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
