Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
