I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
