why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
