Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Randomize
