Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
