I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
